Until my male friend brought it up, I never considered the fact that my hair could be partly to blame."Red hair is usually a handicap, as far as I'm concerned," my divorced and dating friend Adam tells me over brunch.
"I mean, for you it's some kind of fashion statement or whatever, but to most guys it says that you're wild and ...
Being a therapist and a woman, I have seen dysfunctional females in action, and I know what they do and how they think. Quick help guide: Look for abandonment and victim issues, extreme moods, lack of empathy, no conscience, know-it-all, self-absorption, always blames others.
So DO NOT quickly move in, get married, make capital purchases for her, pay her bills, do more for her than change a light bulb or buy anything together including puppies, kittens and other items difficult to divide or leave. You can see by her expensive presentation that she is into the finest material goods and experiences money can buy. Don't be surprised if she texts 14 other guys while dating you, looking to see who will ante up the most. Instead, what I see too often is a man falls head over heels in love and gets himself in too deep, too soon. Her favorite pattern is leopard and her jewelry looks like it came from a fishing lure box. Feels terrible about herself, so must do what she can to get validation that she's worthy and desirable. These women can have a baby at the snap of a finger, love sex, preferably during ovulation, and just won't use birth control. Counting on your soft heart, her story mirrors a Greek tragedy. Will drop you when she finds "someone better," even though we all know he's much worse. Before his heart has palpitated a dozen times, the part of him that loves to rescue and fix kicks in and he makes plans to remodel her house, buy her a car, pay for some plastic surgery, and take her on some cool vacations. She's charming as all get-out, and sex and attention are the bait. Hell-raiser and non-conformist, no matter her age, she's 17 for life. When she feels you're off your game you'll find her talking with someone else. They'll get pregnant and may want you to stick around and help raise the child, but most importantly, she'll appreciate the child support you'll be paying. Abandoned by her parents, she was raised in an orphanage where they forgot to feed her and boy is she hungry now - for you to support her. Some practiced daters have a standard letter they send to every single person they find even mildly attractive.Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to write a personalized message responding to specific items in your profile, not send a generic cut-and-paste letter saying, “Hey girl, I saw your profile and was intrigued …” Think about the hundreds of other people who’ve gotten the same letter, and decide whether you’re willing to accept only the barest minimum of effort.An eternal single gal and third-wheeler, I became dangerously good at being a wingwoman.